ARE YOU AFRAID OF FAT - 9

TRIGGER WARNING/CONTENT WARNING: I will be talking some negative body talk, fat talk, EDs (Eating Disorders), Food, thin talks and diets. 

Are people afraid of Fat people? 

This idea came to me when someone got so offended by who I am, called me a potato and proceeded to say things such as "You're disgusting." or "Why do you exist?" I've even been called out when simply looking to transit. People have said, "Is that ride for me?" Referring to my body being as big as a car or bus. Some people exclaim "Holy hell" or "Jeez," to which I simply try to walk off or ignore. It shouldn't be a surprise to people, but I am Fat. I'm proudly Fat, but that's not for everyone. Fat is first and foremost an adjective. It's just describing something that is big, round, maybe even plump. Fat is curvy, wiggley and floppy. Fat is just that. It's Fat. 

Now, seeing as I am Fat, I feel qualified to talk this issue a bit in length. Not only am I fat, but I'm considered to be disabled as well. I have sleep apnea, insomnia, acid reflux issues, body pains and the list goes on. Some would argue that I only have these issues because I am Fat. Which in some cases can be the case, but in others, such as my own, I've had these issues while being Fat and Thinner. They weren't going away and losing weight wasn't just magically going to solve everything for me. In fact, I had body pain all throughout elementary, high school and even college. All while dealing with fluctuating body size. I'm pretty sure constant fluctuation of body is actually worse for you then just being the size you are born to be. Fat was just in my genes and is something I have to live with for the rest of my life because no matter how hard I try to lose weight or even keep the pounds off, it always comes back with double the force. 

What do people see when they see someone who is Fat or when something is Fat? For assumption purposes, I'll take the most answered responses. That Fat people are lazy or laze around all day, eating everything in sight, no exercising, no boundaries, stinky, never take showers, breathing heavy all the time, have eating disorders and are always so slow. Seeing as these were the TOP answers, I just want to say, it's fucking hurtful. Unfortunately, it's very present and honest in the world we live in. Fat is seen so negatively and that evidently, it isn't a good thing.

But do you truly believe that? Do I believe that? Of course not! I believe being Fat shows love, kindness, squishiness, curves, growth and wealth. It's a sign of not giving a fuck. A sign of heart, joy, and everything in between. Sadly, I'm not here to talk about the positives, I'm here to talk about shit that has unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on where you stand) have happened to Fat people I've either known, or it has personally happened to me. 

I've mentioned a few off the top, but let's dig deeper. I've been personally told I can't play or do certain things because I'm too Fat, whether at school on recess or during Gym class. I've literally been too Fat to go on rides, to sit in certain seats during work or at events. I've been told I'll die young because I'm too Fat, that I'll probably grow to have diabetes. or liver failures or health problems internally forever. People have told me they've been physically touched by others without permission, to poke and prod at our bodies, investigating if the Fat is real. Some others have told me they were told they couldn't wear certain clothes because they were too Fat for them or that it didn't fit right on their bodies. Others have shared people assume they are pregnant because of how round their tummies are. I've been ridiculed for liking something that only thinner people are allowed to like. Hell, we've been told that the world is THIN. That ideologically, THIN is where you must be at all times.

For one, I know people who are Fat that play sports or are in professional Gym leagues. I know not all can fit on rides, but there are chairs and seats that are specifically made for Fat people. People die every day, and being Fat isn't going to change your outcome. You will die one day, that's just the inevitable of it all. Personally, I have chosen lighter movement, and NOT going to the Gym because that's where a LOT of the ridicule comes from. I would rather have one more slice of cake and die, then torturing my body, lifting and sprinting and dying at the gym. Secondly, not all Fat people are diabetic. Just like how not all Thin people are healthy. You can be Fat AND Healthy, isn't that wild? To some, it's a huge surprise. Which is why it surprised me when people have told me they've been touched by strangers without permission. People assume WAY too much and think it's totally fine to invade someone's space and just touch their body. That is completely unacceptable. If you're really curious about something, just fucking ask! As for the clothing matter, clothes are just fabric we've created to cover up bits and pieces of us. If someone wants to show off skin, fucking let them! If they are physically comfortable in their own skin, proud of who they are, let them wear whatever they want. You get no say. Your opinion doesn't matter in this case. Sure, you're allowed to have an opinion, but unless asked for your input, keep those thoughts to yourself, because you could end up seriously hurting someone in more ways than one. 

Lastly, I'll touch on the THIN topic. Yes, people have told me I'm not allowed to like certain things because typically, thinner people only like that. Well, surprise, I'm not typically like others. I enjoy going on adventures, walking, playing and watching sports. When the opportunity rises, I love to dance and sing. Stretching and gentle yoga are always nice to have. But why is THIN such a hot topic? Being thin or thinner is such a craze. Millions upon millions of dollars are spent EVERY DAY on diet culture, diets, exercising, supplements, and other fun little machines to help you lose those pounds and weight. Thin became such a hot topic because it was how the world was shaped and moulded by companies. The capitalistic hell space we live in on top of the advertising, and money grabbing companies will never truly end because they are always making money. But just like the topic, THIN is also not a bad thing either. I know a ton of people who are thin and have been even ridiculed for how skinny or thin they are. They've tried to gain weight, build muscle and work out but no matter what they do, the size sticks. It's in our genes and how each and every body functions differently. I'm not trying to say being skinny is bad either, all I'm trying to say is that you should be happy in the body you are in. I know sometimes it can feel like hell, especially for those living in constant pain, but for all we know, we only get one life. So live it to be happy, live it to be exciting and surprising and live it to live! 

This has hopefully shown some light that being FAT or SKINNY shouldn't be a bad thing. It's just people being hurtful and pushing out things they need to process either through therapy or on their own. Being Fat has been majority of my life and I've never been happier. Sure, this is the most I've ever weighed in my life, I've never been this stressed or anxious before, but I try to see it as things could be worse. Much, much worse.

For fuck sakes, there's World War 3 happening, we've fucked the environment, the world is repeating history and is moving backwards, and we're all slowly dying, filled with microplastics. It's really great! (sarcasm). All in all, I hope this shows more of who I've become, more of the battles I struggle with and at the end, that FAT doesn't need to be negative if you just mind your own goddamn business. Don't judge a book by it's cover so fast! 

Fat is a scary word to some, others it's a descriptive word. So, what is it to you?